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new day

27 Apr


todays breakfast. cheated a little last night with tortilla chips with cheese and salsa with my best friend, but an planning to be back on track today. got a lot of exercise yesterday too. same plan for today. run a few k, eat healthy. repeat for several days 🙂

Today – post mortem

27 Apr

Maybe it’s a bad idea to do a post mortem before the day is actually over with, but I’m proud of myself today. I think I did pretty well. I had my veggies and my apples with cashew butter.  And a caesar salad. And yogurt and bran and strawberries for breakfast. I spent a day vegetarian and I’m pretty sure it’s the only day of my life since I was eating solid food that I’ve done that. I’m a tad hungry now so I think I may fall back on some black beans and brown rice. Not the optimal before bed snack, bu the protein is pretty crucial.

Today I ran/walked with the dog a total of 4.2 km. It felt sooo good! I got that runner’s high back, where you start to feel the world fade around you. I can’t wait until I have less bits jiggling around me while I run. Right now it’s rather annoying how much of me shakes and wobbles when I move at speed. The dog loved it though. I think for once I finally tired him out. And when I got back I wasn’t hungry at all. It was a really nice change from the ordinary.

There was pizza for dinner at the house, and I felt myself caving thinking about how much I wanted a slice of that rich, filling pepperoni. Luckily for me, by the time I got up from napping it was all gone. A close dodge, because I’m sure I would have cheated. This has been really hard so far. Really, really hard. To be honest, I’m pretty amazed that I have lost as much weight as I have, because I’ve always struggled with challenges staying motivated over the long term. Not just with weight loss, but school, work, projects, creative pursuits. I find I’m always kind of making excuses, and it’s hard because I get frustrated when I’m imperfect or unsuccessful, but I often wake up in the mornings feeling tired, unmotivated, and generally out of it and melancholy. Not quite sure how to correct f


or that, it’s a feeling that’s more or less followed me for me entire life. The weight loss helps; I can feel increased energy and strength, but there are still too many days where I feel like my strength has been sapped out of me, and it’s hard to get out of bed. I don’t know what the fix is for that. I’m eating healthy, as you can see from my re

Another day

26 Apr

Well, I met some of my goals yesterday. But it turned out I should have added the goals:

1. reduce carbs

2, no fried foods

3. no pastas

gained about a pound and a half after making Viet style spring rolls and cha gio over vermicelli.

Am not exactly proud. But today will be different. Here is my meal plan for today.

1. Low cal ceasar salad

2. Brown Rice and black beans with chopped tomatos, onions, lettuce, and salsa

3. crudites – specifically celery, baby tomatoes, and carrots with hummus or ranch dressing

4. apple w/cashew butter

5. cucumber salad – chopped cucumbers tossed in sea salt and balsamic vinegar


Wish me luck sticking to it!

Lots of love,


Couple weeks later…

25 Apr

So it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted anything, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve been battling boredom, complacency and a lack of motivation. Rice, beans, and Frank’s Red are set out before me. I’ve been having difficulty staying motivated lately. Not just on the weight loss deal, but generally on everything. The work piles up which makes me want to do it even less, and so continues the cycle of procrastination. I’ve been wanting to do a lot of different things. Get my old webcomic up again, work on my writing, do game art for the video game I’ve been helping to develop, work on any of my incomplete film projects… but I feel like someone has take a big de-motivator gun and sapped me of all of my motivation. Sigh. It’s been rough. I’ve been trying to get out of the house, and I’ve been getting small amounts of exercise at least, but it doesn’t compensate for this strange melancholy.

Still, I must push through, because to be human is to push through, you must survive in order to thrive and all of that. It’s been frustrating on the weight loss front as well, because the scale refuses to show me any losses. I’ve gained 3 darn pounds. Apparently my waist line has stayed the same, so it’s probably muscle. Which means hopefully I spiked loss is in order soon. I hope so, I want to lose more.

On the same note, last week was pretty exciting when I went shopping and discovered I could fit comfortably in a pair of size 14 jeans! 33’s! Of course it depends somewhat on the brand as I’ve inherited my family’s, how do I say it… “ample child-bearing hips”, and there’s only so much that can be done about those, but I was pretty ecstatic and understood why most of my clothes no longer fit. Where I was wearing XL’s and 1X, I’m now in medium’s and larges, and where my pants were 18’s and 20’s, I’m now down to a more ladylike 14! I guess the little things like that are what keep one’s motivation going. It doesn’t feel so large a change, since like all major changes, it was over the course of a year, rather than a rapid loss. I have lost between 60 and 65 pounds thus far (it fluctuates slightly of course). I have another 65 to go to get me down to my goal weight of 140. And here’s where it gets tough ladies and gentlemen. Here’s where the exercise portion is going to come into play. Most of that first 65 was from changing my diet, but most of this next 65 will probably have to come for exercise. Sure, there are still a couple of dietary changes I could stand to make. (I haven’t been able to give up those chips yet, and I still cheat in small ways on an approximately daily basis).

So here’s my goal for the next week – Wednesday to Wednesday. And we’ll see if this will pull me down below the 200 line for good this time! I keep getting down to that magical 199 then bouncing back up to between 200-210. This last week I’ve been keeping is between 203-204.5. So let’s try and get down to 195 and stay there! (well there and below of course).

Goals from this Wednesday to next Wednesday:

1. 3 double handful sized veggie servings a day

2. 1 serving green veggies (celery, lettuce, spinach, etc – ROUGHAGE!)

3. lots of water

4. no bread, cakes, cookies! no breadtype, baked products! I seem to have broken my bread dependency so this one should be easy as pie! This includes granola bars, muffins and all of those tasty things which I adore.

5. no potato chips. This is easy as long as they aren’t offered to me… I like ’em a little too much

6. lean protein with all carbohydrates eaten.

7. this one could be a challenge NO SUGAR. Okay, so this doesn’t just apply to the occasional real fruit gummy treat, but to sugar that is cooked with as well. At least, it needs to be used in significantly reduced quantities… hmm, not sure how I’m going to do this. Okay, we won’t take it out of cooking just yet. But no sugar objects. No candies, no gummies, no syrups, no juices, no pops. For one week.

8. no cheese. Okay so this one will make the person I live with pretty happy since I’m basically lactose intolerant. 😛

9. limit 1 sugar fruit per day (banana, orange, kiwi, melon, etc). Berries unlimited, 1 additional apple also acceptable.

10. daily cardio. For just 7 days I’m going to attempt to get some kind of cardio exercise every single days. We’ll see how it works out!

Wish me luck! 😀

I feel motivated again!

At A small loss

14 Apr

breakfast today. Szechuan green beans with tofu over vermicelli. Just sesame oil, garlic, peanuts, ginger, soy sauce, small amounts of sugar, sambal olek, shallots, and a little lime over vermicelli.

Yesterday didn’t end up so hot, I popped only a few grapes in my mouth before I went out, and ended up out most of the day and so got really hungry (failing to plan is planning to fail as i didn’t have any of my normal noms with me.)It started out okay, I grabbed a protein matcha shake made with unsweetened almond milk and loaded with greens powder, and had a green tea with lemon out at tim hortons even though I could have had something decidedly unhealthy.

For dinner I had three pieces of meat lovers pizza … loaded with Franks Red because it was at the house. Thanks Papa Murphy, why can’t you have something healthier?!

Another two pieces followed several hours later as well as a sour key and a couple of chalky candies. But I did manage to pick up some CLA and greens powder. And I guess the CLA is working, because I got a  3 lb discount today when I stepped on the scale. Or maybe it was the 30 min run/walk I went for yesterday combined with core strength training. Either way, it’s a new day and today I resolve to do better.




healthy eats day two

13 Apr

well I conked out last night before I has a chance to do more than just twenty five push ups, but sometimes that’s, life. I made a lovely lemongrass shrimp dish with lots of veggies,

And mine was mostly lettuce, and bean sprouts, (recipe here:

but sometimes I wonder your healthy it really is because of salt and sugar… in the sauce.

This, morning starts off with my leftover salmon dinner nomnom


and hopefully I will manage to get in my exercise today. 🙂 more in a few.

proof that anything can be entertainment

13 Apr


the evil face of… awe man I can’t even remember the context of how this happened. Its just enough to say that alan wong is both awesome and a genius. it is the wine box skeleton monster… run!

lol. my life is odd.